Sense of Happiness

Today before the dawn, I woke up because of sneezing. I couldn't sleep again so I turned on my laptop and connected to the internet. "You've got 2 new messages", who's sending me emails? I was surprised, it is an old friend of mine. I replied her email and not long after that she replied my email. She hadn't slept too. In this early morning, we had some little chat.

My friend is a nurse and working at the hospital now. I haven't seen her for a long time. It seems both of us had changed a lot.

In our chat, I told her that lately I felt boring with my work, my routine, my life. I felt lack in spirit. And then she asked me, "Why do you bored with your work?" I couldn't tell her why do I feel that way. She added her sentences, "Once I felt bored with my work, my friend gave me good advice. When you feel bore, try to remember what is your purpose to work? the reason you want to wake up early in the morning? and for who?... In my heart I replied, I work and come earlier in the morning not only just for myself but to see my patients shining faces after I help them fulfill their needs. I work to make people happy."

Her words awaken my spirit. Her words are important things I had forgotten. It is sense of happiness when I'm helping other people.

My Story: Between The Past and The Future

Another year has passed. The end of the year has always been special as it serves as the time to look back at my ups and downs throughout the year; to evaluate what has happened that changed the direction of my life.

2008, a colorful year for me. Why do I say that? What's the difference between 2008 and all the previous ones? In 2008 I wrote my first blog :)

Before 2008, my world reflected no light, was completely dark, and sorrow filled my days. I was not able to face the reality. Some things drove me insane. It was even hard for me to sleep; the only thing I could do was just cyring until my eyes look like those of panda's. I couldn't stand it; I felt like I didn't want to continue living... until Ms.Bless prayed for me, Mr.Mario Teguh talked on TV, my friends stood by me, and the best part was that God gave me strength and taught me to be a better person. He never gives temptations that are tougher than what we can deal with. I read this quote from my friend Cho, "What does not defeat you only makes you stronger."

Although it happened before 2008, it has become a burden for my present. Everyday I pray and struggle to make peace with my past. One book I read said that, "Your past does not define your future." Have you ever heard someone said, "I can't believe it, there's no way (s)he can do that!" Well, in reality, someone good can turn bad and vice versa. It all depends on your choices at the present times to make your future days better.
Happy New Year 2009!

Editor: Angel

My Story: Rules in Teaching

As a supervisor, I have responsibility to ensure our operational unit runs thoroughly. Start from preparation, realization, evaluation, until plan for the next term, me and other eleven supervisors form as one team. Each of us have 7 or 8 subordinates and they are our responsibilities too.

On October 24, 2008, one of my subordinates was sick. I couldn't find substitute to replace her as a programming instructor for that day. So, I became acting instructor for that day only. I entered one class room of computer laboratory. There was another instructor already inside the room. He is my subordinate partner. It's been a long time since I was an instructor too. He started teaching and I started observing.

Ten minutes after my partner started teaching, several students were entering the class room. "Hey! why did they late?", I said in my heart. They were not only late for ten minutes but there were 3 students who were also late above 30 minutes. After looked them took a seat, I warned them to follow our study rules. We have some rules but I will write down 2 rules here. First, if the student late after 30 minutes, the student may stay learning but he/she will be counted absent. Second, if the student doesn't wear laboratory coat, he/she is not allowed to enter the class room of computer laboratory. I had warned them by sending messages to their computer.

Apparently, there were 2 students who didn't bring lab coat. When I knew that, there were 2 dogs began barking in my heart. Bellow is the dialog between these 2 dogs.

First dog said, "Pitying them, they only don't bring lab coat. Besides, lab coat is not important. Think! why does the student need to wear lab coat in computer laboratory? Is it for protect them from computer radiation? What a useless rule."

The Second dog said, "You must stand on the rule, don't let them break the rule."

First dog said, "If you don't break the rule, they will miss their programming lesson for today. They've already paid and they have right to get what they've paid. Pitying them if they left behind because you don't let them stay and learn."

Second dog said, "It is their fault if they don't bring lab coat. Rules are made to make them discipline and have responsibilities."

First dog said, "If you don't let them stay, you will be hated by them."

Second dog said, "Choose, do you wanna be loved because your tollerance for breaking the rule or hated because your righteousness."

Finally, the second dog won and made me acting based on the rule. After that, I thought I was cruel and I felt so sad. I was wondering why do I felt that way while I was doing the right thing. I talked to my friend, and she said, "It's ok Ru. Just like a mother teaches her child, she will feel sad when she gives punishment to her child because her child doing something wrong. But her mother do that because she want her child grow up as a good person." My friend's words made my heart relieved.

My Story: Gokana Extra Hot Ramen Challenge

Wednesday, 29 Oct 08. I went to Gokana Resto and took eating challenge.

The challenge is:
whoever could eating extra hot ramen in only 20 minutes will get a voucher of free one package menu.

I heard this challenge from some of my friends who had taken it already. They said it's not hot. They even told me that it's easy to win the challenge. I love eating ramen but I don't like spicy food because I had experienced terrible stomachache several times. My friends assured me it's not hot. Since I love trying something new, I dare myself to try the challenge acompanied by other of my friends who want to try the challenge for the first time too.

We had ordered super extra hot ramen and cold ocha drink. We waited about 10-15 minutes and.. Wow! big bowl of ramen had arrived. When it arrived, some waiters hit a drum: dung dung dung dung! while saying: Ganbatte! Ganbatte!

Hmmm... I could smell chilli flavor. I ate it then...
.O.M.G!!! My tongue is burning T_T
I almost got choked when the sauce past through my throat.
Cold ocha drink had saved me..
I thought I couldn't win the challenge because it red sauce is full in big bowl.
When I thought of that, my friends already finished in 10 minutes.
What kinda tongue do they have -.-!
"Look at them", I said in my heart. "If they can do it, I can do it too."
I threw away "I can not" words from my mind, and change it into "Yes, I can." I pushed myself eating sauce that only left in my big bowl.

Finally after 17 minutes, I've made it!! How happy I am, I have won one package beef menu. For some people, that challenge maybe easy to win. But for me, it's hard to be done. Ever cross in my mind, just give up, don't push yourself. When I changed my mind, I chose to be a winner. I realize it's all because power of mind and strong will.

Never give up in anything, if someone can do it either do you :)

My Story: Give Thanks

When I walked, I saw people with their BMW car then I asked to God,
"Why am I not one of them?"
When I saw people can buy expensive house with price about 1 billion rupiah, I'm questioning the same thing to God,
"Why am I not one of them?"
When I looked my friends after graduate working in various companies with appealing salary,
but I engaged with seven years contract, I'm asking again,
"Why am I not one of them?"

When I asked, God kept silence until He showed me what I've never been thinking of before.

Yesterday, I went shopping with me friends. We went to ITC Mango Two, one of complete shopping center in crowded city Jakarta. We went by public vehicles for we don't have any private vehicle; Maybe someday we will have it :P

Along the way, I saw many beggars and homeless persons. When I saw them, I thought of something. I had never asked God why I am not one of them.

When I saw them who don't have legs, I thanked God for the two legs I have.
When I saw homeless persons who slept under the bridge, I thanked God for a little room I can rent monthly.
When I saw them who jobless, I thanked God I don't have to search a job for seven years... hahaha...

Then I remember this quote (if you see a glass not full filled with water):
"Instead of looking half of glass empty, try to look half of glass filled."