Tuxedo cat

Yesterday I went to the cemetery with my family. It was my mother's death anniversary as well as the need to extend the permit to use the cemetery. I entered the public cemetery office then sat down, waiting for the call. The office was quiet and I was the only one waiting. About two meters from where I was sitting, I saw a tuxedo cat on the floor licking its body. It looks like a street cat.

The cat didn't see me and walked away. After a few minutes, it turned out the cat hadn't really left. It walked past me, sat down by my feet and looked up at me. I said to it in my heart, why you here? I don't have any food. We made eye contact. I could clearly see its eyes deeply. I felt like it wanted me to bring it home. Crossed in my mind it was pretty. I thought it's a female cat. It didn't take long for it to jump onto the sofa bench and take the seat right next to me. I was confused because it wasn't supposed to sit there 😅 So I grabbed it back to the floor then stroked its head. Shortly afterward, an officer called me to retrieve documents from the officer's desk, which was about five meters from where I was sitting. I left the cat for a few minutes. When I returned, it had disappeared.

Brief encounter with tuxedo cat made me happy. This simple thing brought me joy 😊

I forgot to took a photo of it so I use Gemini AI to generate picture of a tuxedo cat.

No Intention to Recall the Memories

Dear mom, I'm sorry for not having intention to recall the memories of you. I know entering month of May there is your birthday. I never forget it. I know I've been so bad not thinking of you in many days but it doesn't mean I forget you. It's just that.. realizing the fact that you are gone has saddened me.

On your birthday, I can control my mind not to think of you but my heart feels sorrow. Well sometimes heart cannot cooperate with brain. But still I don't have intention to recall memories of you.

Grief in The Beginning of Year 2014

This year I have lost one of the biggest love I have ever had. It is a love of a mother. On January 14, 2014, my mother passed away. It was hard to accept it at that moment, but I tried.

In her life, she has never wanted to burden me or others. She is strong and full of pride. Seeing her ever cry is a rare event. She has never shown her weakness although life is cruel to her.

Since the day she has gone, every time I wake up in the morning, every time before I go to sleep, every time I am on my way home from work place, I always think of her. Every corner of our house reminds me to her, reminds me to her love. She loves me so much more than herself. She always gives the best for me. Heart start shaking then tears suddenly flow every time I miss her. The fact that I cannot see her has broken my heart.

Valuable Time for Precious Person

Lately I've been sad thinking about my mother. She is sick. Her feet are swelling if she walks, stands, or sits too long. She is also easily get tired. At night she cannot sleep well due to pain over her feet and body. She has to rest a lot. We had taken her to the doctor specialized in rheumatoid because she believed it was because rheumatoid. It is true that after got injections on the pain spots, she could walk around lightly the day after. But after one or three months, the pain is back. She decided to take medicine rather than injections because injections are costly.

My mother is 64 years old. Now I am taller than her. I remember when I was little, she used to hold my hand when we walked together. Whenever we hung around, it felt like there were just two of us in the world.

Enemy Inside Me

Too many activities have made me busy and distract my mind to only think about college and work. It is tough when I realize that almost all of my life I have spent my time for school and work. I have nothing to pursue my dream now, but I feel so lucky in several occasions. One occasion I was worried about book cost for study, another one about transportation cost. Luckily, my friend lent his book (thanks to mricky), and I've also got free-ride on the way to campus or going back home (thanks to marlen and yunita). They have become bless for me.