Don't marry a teacher

One day, when I scrolled short videos on social media, I stumbled upon a video. It portrays a Chinese grandpa that is teaching his granddaughter. Grandpa is already old. He has white hair. His age might be around 70-80 years old while his granddaughter might be 12-14 years old. Grandpa looked calm and wise. He said to his granddaughter that if she wants to have a happy marriage, don't marry a teacher. He didn't explain why then continued with other advice. I froze and confused. My reaction was What?!? Why??? Does that mean I won't be a good partner in romantic relationship? Geez, I felt offended. Fyi, I work as an educator, and I have spent half my life teaching.

I couldn't believe what grandpa said. I was thinking for a while trying to find the answer. It still didn't make sense for me, so I read comments section and found the reason.

I don't remember exactly what the comments said but I got the points:

Teacher often feels smarter than his/her partner and wants everything done based on what he/she thinks is good. Teacher always feels right to the point that whatever his/her partner does will always be wrong.

It became reflection for me. Do I like that? I was questioning myself. Fortunately, I am not like that. I cannot prove it by words. Someone must spend enough time to get to know me.

Teacher, doctor, lawyer, chef, and other roles do not portray someone's true character. Even priests or monks that are depicted as good characters can show up in criminal news. Every human is unique. Spending time with the person is a more valid way to judge the person's character. That's why there is courtship before marriage.

Rather than giving advice to not marry a person with a certain role, it's better to let people choose by asking questions to themself such as:

• What do I think about this person? (make a list that weights to right/wrong person)
• What do I feel when I'm with this person? (happy? sad? understood? ignored? name it all emotions...)
• Can I imagine future with this person?

Consider carefully before deciding to get married. Don't ignore red flag during dating. Whatever problems during dating most likely will become bigger in marriage. Other problems will also arise. Make sure you know your partner well, beyond their status and role.