Befriending a stray cat

Last month, a stray cat appeared in my yard. I called to it to give a chicken bone but it kept a distance from me. It looked suspicious and starving at the same time. It came closer but afraid to take the chicken bone from my hand. So I put that chicken bone on the ground and then I left.

After that first meeting, the cat often reappeared in my yard. It might be because sometimes we gave it food. It started not being afraid and let me stroke its head. It even slept over on the desk near the entrance door of my house.

Cleaning up my room

I live in a small room with lots of stuff. Oftentimes, I keep things that I don't need anymore, thinking they might be useful in the future. Eventually, these items filled my room, leaving no space.

When I want to buy new things, I have to throw stuff away to make space. I realize these items are already covered in dust. I've been keeping things that I won't even use in the future. It felt like keeping trash.

Fix you

When I watched a movie, there were moments when I got annoyed with the actors' behavior. For example, when I think, the actor is supposed to communicate it, but the actor left without talking, I was like “huh?” I got annoyed and had urge to fix it. Unfortunately, I could not tell them what they were supposed to do. The movie played following the script.

I often see life like a movie. People as the actors and life as the scenes. Just like when I watched a movie, when I saw people taking the wrong path, I tended to want to fix it. But I restraint it. I always remind myself; it is not my responsibility to fix broken people.

True Love

Once upon a time, I stumbled on this random video. It shows up on my YouTube home page. In this video, a monk shares wisdom about true love. He tells the difference between love and attachment. He also gives examples that compare acts of love or just attachment. He talks about universal love that I think it's not limited to a religion. So, anyone can watch it.

Don't marry a teacher

One day, when I scrolled short videos on social media, I stumbled upon a video. It portrays a Chinese grandpa that is teaching his granddaughter. Grandpa is already old. He has white hair. His age might be around 70-80 years old while his granddaughter might be 12-14 years old. Grandpa looked calm and wise. He said to his granddaughter that if she wants to have a happy marriage, don't marry a teacher. He didn't explain why then continued with other advice. I froze and confused. My reaction was What?!? Why??? Does that mean I won't be a good partner in romantic relationship? Geez, I felt offended. Fyi, I work as an educator, and I have spent half my life teaching.

I couldn't believe what grandpa said. I was thinking for a while trying to find the answer. It still didn't make sense for me, so I read comments section and found the reason.

Fear of darkness

When I was six years old, I remember power blackouts often happened in my neighborhood. It doesn't bother me at all if it happened at day light. But at night, where there's no light, it's a horror for me. When that happened, I became anxious, scared, cried, screamed and called my mom. She would find me and try to calm me down. I would run to her then stick with her wherever she went. I held onto her, so we didn't get separated.

As I grow up, I start to think about what I'm afraid of when I'm in the darkness.

Tuxedo cat

Yesterday I went to the cemetery with my family. It was my mother's death anniversary as well as the need to extend the permit to use the cemetery. I entered the public cemetery office then sat down, waiting for the call. The office was quiet and I was the only one waiting. About two meters from where I was sitting, I saw a tuxedo cat on the floor licking its body. It looks like a street cat.

The cat didn't see me and walked away. After a few minutes, it turned out the cat hadn't really left. It walked past me, sat down by my feet and looked up at me. I said to it in my heart, why you here? I don't have any food. We made eye contact. I could clearly see its eyes deeply. I felt like it wanted me to bring it home. Crossed in my mind it was pretty. I thought it's a female cat. It didn't take long for it to jump onto the sofa bench and take the seat right next to me. I was confused because it wasn't supposed to sit there 😅 So I grabbed it back to the floor then stroked its head. Shortly afterward, an officer called me to retrieve documents from the officer's desk, which was about five meters from where I was sitting. I left the cat for a few minutes. When I returned, it had disappeared.

Brief encounter with tuxedo cat made me happy. This simple thing brought me joy 😊

I forgot to took a photo of it so I use Gemini AI to generate picture of a tuxedo cat.

No Intention to Recall the Memories

Dear mom, I'm sorry for not having intention to recall the memories of you. I know entering month of May there is your birthday. I never forget it. I know I've been so bad not thinking of you in many days but it doesn't mean I forget you. It's just that.. realizing the fact that you are gone has saddened me.

On your birthday, I can control my mind not to think of you but my heart feels sorrow. Well sometimes heart cannot cooperate with brain. But still I don't have intention to recall memories of you.

Grief in The Beginning of Year 2014

This year I have lost one of the biggest love I have ever had. It is a love of a mother. On January 14, 2014, my mother passed away. It was hard to accept it at that moment, but I tried.

In her life, she has never wanted to burden me or others. She is strong and full of pride. Seeing her ever cry is a rare event. She has never shown her weakness although life is cruel to her.

Since the day she has gone, every time I wake up in the morning, every time before I go to sleep, every time I am on my way home from work place, I always think of her. Every corner of our house reminds me to her, reminds me to her love. She loves me so much more than herself. She always gives the best for me. Heart start shaking then tears suddenly flow every time I miss her. The fact that I cannot see her has broken my heart.

Valuable Time for Precious Person

Lately I've been sad thinking about my mother. She is sick. Her feet are swelling if she walks, stands, or sits too long. She is also easily get tired. At night she cannot sleep well due to pain over her feet and body. She has to rest a lot. We had taken her to the doctor specialized in rheumatoid because she believed it was because rheumatoid. It is true that after got injections on the pain spots, she could walk around lightly the day after. But after one or three months, the pain is back. She decided to take medicine rather than injections because injections are costly.

My mother is 64 years old. Now I am taller than her. I remember when I was little, she used to hold my hand when we walked together. Whenever we hung around, it felt like there were just two of us in the world.

Enemy Inside Me

Too many activities have made me busy and distract my mind to only think about college and work. It is tough when I realize that almost all of my life I have spent my time for school and work. I have nothing to pursue my dream now, but I feel so lucky in several occasions. One occasion I was worried about book cost for study, another one about transportation cost. Luckily, my friend lent his book (thanks to mricky), and I've also got free-ride on the way to campus or going back home (thanks to marlen and yunita). They have become bless for me.

Break The Limit

Sometimes I give up on chasing one of my dreams. Often I think that I don't have talent to make it real. It seems impossible for me so I only try a little just for fun. But when I found this fact, I did feel ashamed. Let's take a look these real stories.

First, He Ah Lee. She was born with a lobster claw syndrome. She only has four fingers but she can play piano as well as normal people or even better. She considers her weakness as special gift from God. Her first piano teacher said that don’t act as disabled people, but play as normal one. She practices piano about 5-10 hours/day for 5 years.

Second, Jessica Cox. She has no arms. She can write, type, drive a car, brush her hair and talk on her phone simply using her feet. She flies planes and she can type 25 words a minute.




Third, Andrea Bocelli. Born with poor eyesight, he became totally blind at the age of twelve following a soccer accident. When he wants something, he has to do it. He said, "Whatever happens in life, however sad or terrible, there are still thousands of reasons to go on living this life fully."




Now, think about your limitation. What would you do to break your limit?

Take a look this video and see our similarity with the player in this video. Pay attention to what the player and the coach say.



From their stories, we can learn to keep our spirit and never give up. Never pity ourselves and turn negative mind into the positive one. Never see boundaries in yourself or it will bind you as limitation to do many great things that you haven't imagined before.

Let's make our dreams come true by breaking the limit.


References:
http://jarpus.blogspot.com/2009/08/four-finger-pianist.html
http://www.oddee.com/item_96763.aspx
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Bocelli
http://www.youtube.com

Anger Management

There was a moment when I was feeling down, there was no one around, only me... caught in the emptiness. I'd just lost something precious and most important thing in my life. It was my relationship with my best friend. I never knew how precious my friend was until the relationship was broken. What is your precious one?

I used to be a hotheaded person. It's already in my blood, lust of anger that told you, "Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." When I was getting angry, I used to hurt my best friend with my body language and sometimes sharp sentences just because small thing. It didn't hurt outside but it did.. hurt inside. It might not be physical, but it wounded my best friend heart. If I look back to the past, I feel so fool and ruin everything good when I'm angry. Have you ever experienced moment like me?

Since I lost my best friend, I had set aside time to think. I didn't want this moment happen for the second time. I pray to be a better person then I found a way to manage my anger. Whenever I've gotten angry, I drink water a lot (cold water would be better), I keep the distance with the others, not much talking, and find some place to be alone. I don't want someone get hurt because of my anger. If I angry to the person I know, my heart will say, "If you love him/her, don't be angry. You don't wanna lose him/her right?" And I always keep in mind that never let the sun goes down before your anger fade away. If I tired controlling my anger, I will release the heat through sleeping. And when I wake up, I've already forgotten those anger feeling. Well, this work for me.

It's not always me who get angry. Sometimes I have to deal with other person who gets angry. Tips to face angry person are be patient, keep calm, act in manner way, talk tenderly, and understand what the problem is. If the problem can not be identified, keep the distance from that person.

Anger is not always negative. If someone stealing or doing criminal things and you're angry to that criminal action, it means that your conscience is still working. In that case, what makes anger become right or wrong is how you react to anger feeling. Commonly, anger is manifest in negatives way. Control the anger and get back your joy.

Other quotes that I remember to overcome my anger:
"When you are angry, count till 10 before you start talking"

My Story: School Again

OMG... I've just realized that I only have one posting in this blog over year 2009 :(

Today, I would like to share about my life. It's about questions in my mind after 2 years graduated with bachelor degree in computer science. What do I want? What is my destiny? Life had been felt so flat and no passion if I did the same things every day. No challenge, nothing to pursue, what a boring life if I stuck in the satisfaction of life. I'd rather say, I'm not satisfied with what I have achieved now. I have to gain knowledge just like many heroes in video games raising up their level skills (I love playing dotA :D). So, I decided going to school again.

Education is not cheap at present. Higher level of education means higher fee. I would like to enroll in business school, but the fee is about 20 times my monthly salary [*shocked*T_T]. I looked at my savings, oow... it's not enough... I couldn't afford it.

Somehow, God made a way that I was not thinking before. In the beginning of this year, I had been offered jobs as an outsource programmer. It took some effort by sacrificing my vacation time. After worked 8 hours a day, I worked again until midnight. Sunday, holiday, or any vacation day, I spent it in front of my computer. Tired... but happy after I received the payment :)

With the savings increase and financial plan, I can say proudly that I could afford money for business school fee. This is one of my pride where I can see some people are funded by their parents while I'm not. I'm funded by God, my big boss :D Of course God's hand wouldn't reach me if I was lazy and not pleased. Now, it's already one month I've been busy with my study at business school.

I have principle which I learned from Ciputra (an entrepreneur in Indonesia) that if we work hard and do the right things, God will open the way. [In Bahasa Indonesia: jika kita bekerja keras dan berbuat benar, Tuhan pasti buka jalan]

Through this writing, I want to thank Defendy and Sera. You have become extension of the hand of God. Thank you.

Sense of Happiness

Today before the dawn, I woke up because of sneezing. I couldn't sleep again so I turned on my laptop and connected to the internet. "You've got 2 new messages", who's sending me emails? I was surprised, it is an old friend of mine. I replied her email and not long after that she replied my email. She hadn't slept too. In this early morning, we had some little chat.

My friend is a nurse and working at the hospital now. I haven't seen her for a long time. It seems both of us had changed a lot.

In our chat, I told her that lately I felt boring with my work, my routine, my life. I felt lack in spirit. And then she asked me, "Why do you bored with your work?" I couldn't tell her why do I feel that way. She added her sentences, "Once I felt bored with my work, my friend gave me good advice. When you feel bore, try to remember what is your purpose to work? the reason you want to wake up early in the morning? and for who?... In my heart I replied, I work and come earlier in the morning not only just for myself but to see my patients shining faces after I help them fulfill their needs. I work to make people happy."

Her words awaken my spirit. Her words are important things I had forgotten. It is sense of happiness when I'm helping other people.

My Story: Between The Past and The Future

Another year has passed. The end of the year has always been special as it serves as the time to look back at my ups and downs throughout the year; to evaluate what has happened that changed the direction of my life.

2008, a colorful year for me. Why do I say that? What's the difference between 2008 and all the previous ones? In 2008 I wrote my first blog :)

Before 2008, my world reflected no light, was completely dark, and sorrow filled my days. I was not able to face the reality. Some things drove me insane. It was even hard for me to sleep; the only thing I could do was just cyring until my eyes look like those of panda's. I couldn't stand it; I felt like I didn't want to continue living... until Ms.Bless prayed for me, Mr.Mario Teguh talked on TV, my friends stood by me, and the best part was that God gave me strength and taught me to be a better person. He never gives temptations that are tougher than what we can deal with. I read this quote from my friend Cho, "What does not defeat you only makes you stronger."

Although it happened before 2008, it has become a burden for my present. Everyday I pray and struggle to make peace with my past. One book I read said that, "Your past does not define your future." Have you ever heard someone said, "I can't believe it, there's no way (s)he can do that!" Well, in reality, someone good can turn bad and vice versa. It all depends on your choices at the present times to make your future days better.
Happy New Year 2009!

Editor: Angel

My Story: Rules in Teaching

As a supervisor, I have responsibility to ensure our operational unit runs thoroughly. Start from preparation, realization, evaluation, until plan for the next term, me and other eleven supervisors form as one team. Each of us have 7 or 8 subordinates and they are our responsibilities too.

On October 24, 2008, one of my subordinates was sick. I couldn't find substitute to replace her as a programming instructor for that day. So, I became acting instructor for that day only. I entered one class room of computer laboratory. There was another instructor already inside the room. He is my subordinate partner. It's been a long time since I was an instructor too. He started teaching and I started observing.

Ten minutes after my partner started teaching, several students were entering the class room. "Hey! why did they late?", I said in my heart. They were not only late for ten minutes but there were 3 students who were also late above 30 minutes. After looked them took a seat, I warned them to follow our study rules. We have some rules but I will write down 2 rules here. First, if the student late after 30 minutes, the student may stay learning but he/she will be counted absent. Second, if the student doesn't wear laboratory coat, he/she is not allowed to enter the class room of computer laboratory. I had warned them by sending messages to their computer.

Apparently, there were 2 students who didn't bring lab coat. When I knew that, there were 2 dogs began barking in my heart. Bellow is the dialog between these 2 dogs.

First dog said, "Pitying them, they only don't bring lab coat. Besides, lab coat is not important. Think! why does the student need to wear lab coat in computer laboratory? Is it for protect them from computer radiation? What a useless rule."

The Second dog said, "You must stand on the rule, don't let them break the rule."

First dog said, "If you don't break the rule, they will miss their programming lesson for today. They've already paid and they have right to get what they've paid. Pitying them if they left behind because you don't let them stay and learn."

Second dog said, "It is their fault if they don't bring lab coat. Rules are made to make them discipline and have responsibilities."

First dog said, "If you don't let them stay, you will be hated by them."

Second dog said, "Choose, do you wanna be loved because your tollerance for breaking the rule or hated because your righteousness."

Finally, the second dog won and made me acting based on the rule. After that, I thought I was cruel and I felt so sad. I was wondering why do I felt that way while I was doing the right thing. I talked to my friend, and she said, "It's ok Ru. Just like a mother teaches her child, she will feel sad when she gives punishment to her child because her child doing something wrong. But her mother do that because she want her child grow up as a good person." My friend's words made my heart relieved.

My Story: Gokana Extra Hot Ramen Challenge

Wednesday, 29 Oct 08. I went to Gokana Resto and took eating challenge.

The challenge is:
whoever could eating extra hot ramen in only 20 minutes will get a voucher of free one package menu.

I heard this challenge from some of my friends who had taken it already. They said it's not hot. They even told me that it's easy to win the challenge. I love eating ramen but I don't like spicy food because I had experienced terrible stomachache several times. My friends assured me it's not hot. Since I love trying something new, I dare myself to try the challenge acompanied by other of my friends who want to try the challenge for the first time too.

We had ordered super extra hot ramen and cold ocha drink. We waited about 10-15 minutes and.. Wow! big bowl of ramen had arrived. When it arrived, some waiters hit a drum: dung dung dung dung! while saying: Ganbatte! Ganbatte!

Hmmm... I could smell chilli flavor. I ate it then...
.O.M.G!!! My tongue is burning T_T
I almost got choked when the sauce past through my throat.
Cold ocha drink had saved me..
I thought I couldn't win the challenge because it red sauce is full in big bowl.
When I thought of that, my friends already finished in 10 minutes.
What kinda tongue do they have -.-!
"Look at them", I said in my heart. "If they can do it, I can do it too."
I threw away "I can not" words from my mind, and change it into "Yes, I can." I pushed myself eating sauce that only left in my big bowl.

Finally after 17 minutes, I've made it!! How happy I am, I have won one package beef menu. For some people, that challenge maybe easy to win. But for me, it's hard to be done. Ever cross in my mind, just give up, don't push yourself. When I changed my mind, I chose to be a winner. I realize it's all because power of mind and strong will.

Never give up in anything, if someone can do it either do you :)

My Story: Give Thanks

When I walked, I saw people with their BMW car then I asked to God,
"Why am I not one of them?"
When I saw people can buy expensive house with price about 1 billion rupiah, I'm questioning the same thing to God,
"Why am I not one of them?"
When I looked my friends after graduate working in various companies with appealing salary,
but I engaged with seven years contract, I'm asking again,
"Why am I not one of them?"

When I asked, God kept silence until He showed me what I've never been thinking of before.

Yesterday, I went shopping with me friends. We went to ITC Mango Two, one of complete shopping center in crowded city Jakarta. We went by public vehicles for we don't have any private vehicle; Maybe someday we will have it :P

Along the way, I saw many beggars and homeless persons. When I saw them, I thought of something. I had never asked God why I am not one of them.

When I saw them who don't have legs, I thanked God for the two legs I have.
When I saw homeless persons who slept under the bridge, I thanked God for a little room I can rent monthly.
When I saw them who jobless, I thanked God I don't have to search a job for seven years... hahaha...

Then I remember this quote (if you see a glass not full filled with water):
"Instead of looking half of glass empty, try to look half of glass filled."

Wall-e : Save The Tree, Save The Earth

Have you watched Wall-e movie? If you haven’t then don’t continue reading my blog. Watch the movie first is recommended.


I’ve just watched Wall-e movie. It’s exciting for it contains messages to all of us.

I won’t tell the story here. I just want to write down the messages so we realize our role as mankind.

First, take care of your environment if you still want to live on earth. In Wall-e movie, we can see blocks of garbage which are as high as a skyscraper until no human can live again because earth is contaminated.

Second, save the tree! It is one of our life sources. Reduces tree is one issue of global warming.

Third, oh human please… don’t be lazy because automation. If you lazy, you will get fat and even can’t walk.

Fourth, learn to love will form a new hope and a great spirit. Try to love our earth start from now, from our self, and the earth will give us back in return.

Fifth, you don't know how precious what you have now until you lose it someday.